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One of our young men came back from a day with the boys and told me he had to step away, so the child would not see him cry. The child, an 11-year-old with a buzzed head and a gap-tooth smile, told the young man that he loves coming around us because we feel like his uncles. Then the child got quiet. He said he gets sad sometimes because his dad never wants to talk to him or see him. What made the young man tear up was that the child then said that he hopes his father is doing good. “But why doesn’t my dad like me?”
We all love this young boy and there is nothing not to like about him. He is good to his mother. He tries hard at school. He stands up to bullies and takes care of those around him. This boy is only 11. He is asking for guidance. He is asking for adults to guide him. If we don’t step up, the streets will take him.
This is the hard work that we do every day. Far too many of us make the mistake of trying to save young men after they are broken. We hold the press conference after the shooting, myself included, and we say we must do better. We demand funding for programs after the arrest and the boy is long gone into the slammer. In the saddest cases, we write the obituary after the funeral and the family grieves over the senselessness. These tragedies happen because we often fail to build the boy before the streets define manhood for him.
CHICAGO PASTOR GATHERS HUNDREDS OF MEN TO DECLARE VIOLENCE-FREE ZONE ON SOUTH SIDE
By manhood I don’t mean puffing your chest like you some bad dude. That’s an empty front. Manhood means discipline, responsibility, accountability, faith, and all the qualities that allow one to stand strong on two feet.
This boy is only eleven. He is asking for guidance. He asking for adults to guide him. If we don’t step up, the streets will take him.
Every young boy learns from the men who stay and show how it is done. A young boy does not learn from a slogan, a speech, or empty promises. The government can send a check, and it has sent more than its share into our neighborhood, but the government can never manufacture expectations. It cannot sit on the curb and talk to an 11-year-old boy who wants to know why his father disappeared.
When that young man told me about that child and his father, I took that as a sign from God. I don’t know how, but I do know why and that is why I keep stepping forward. It is for these young boys. (istock)
Last week, I stood in front of our new Leadership and Economic Opportunity Center that we built to steward young boys like our 11-year-old. High up on one of the window panes, someone shot a hole through the glass. This is the third window pane that has been broken. We’re talking thousands to repair the damage and we will replace them.
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But think about what they shot. It wasn’t a liquor store or a vacant lot. It was a building — one of the first constructions on the South Side in who knows how long — going up where a motel notorious for crime once stood. And on a block that was known as America’s most dangerous.
The government can send a check, and it has sent more than its share into our neighborhood, but the government can never manufacture expectations. It cannot sit on the curb and talk to an 11-year-old boy who wants to know why his father disappeared.
This building houses job training facilities, classrooms, tutoring, violence prevention and so on. Most of all, this building was built to house young boys and girls who need the safety to grow into strong, resilient adults. Someone looked at all of that and fired a bullet at it.
I’m ticked off and I’m upset. But I’m not quitting.
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When that young man told me about that child and his father, I took that as a sign from God. I don’t know how, but I do know why and that is why I keep stepping forward. It is for these young boys.
They need to see this building accomplished so they can understand what is expected of them in their lives. I know we cannot replace his father, but I know that we have no choice but to be vigilant with him and ensure that he grows up to be the father to his own son that he never had. That is our mission and we will not fail.
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