Secret relationship shaped Scots singer’s award-winning film

A Scottish songwriter says she kept a same-sex relationship secret for six years because she was worried it would cause upset.

Kim Carnie, a Gaelic singer of the year who has featured on film and computer game soundtracks, said it was a relief to finally come out with the full support of her family and friends.

The experience has helped shape a new international film – Kim Carnie Out Loud – which tells the stories of people in the LGBTQ+ community who have hidden their sexuality.

Ahead of its UK premiere later in Glasgow, Carnie said: “The people we met were incredible and so vulnerable in their sharing of their stories with us.”

Carnie, who grew up in Oban and now lives in Glasgow, is the lead singer in Scottish traditional music group Mànran and folk collective Staran.

She was named Gaelic singer of the year in the 2021 Scots Trad Music Awards, and has featured on soundtracks including Netflix’s Outlaw King and Black Mirror.

From the ages of 16 to 22 she and her and her partner at the time kept their relationship a secret from their friends and family.

Carnie, 30, said: “We were both from parts of the country that seem more traditional, I suppose.

“The Highlands and Islands have more of those traditional values, maybe a little bit more religious than the city.

“The fear was friends and family would be lost if they found out.”

She added: “During that time I also developed internal homophobia and felt nobody would accept me for who I was. It was a true worry.”

Carnie eventually opened up to her family and close friends about her sexuality.

Her brother had come out earlier the same year. She said: “No-one batted an eyelid.

“I couldn’t lie any more. I didn’t care if people didn’t accept it.

“Although I was in a relationship by choice, it was a very lonely existence.”

Carnie said it was relief to tell her close circle, adding: “Everybody I was close too were absolutely fine, although there were a few tears.”

The idea for a film first cropped up while Carnie was involved in developing projects for the BBC in Glasgow.

She spent a few weeks with Maureen MacLeod, a producer and director with a background in current affairs, who was looking for someone to work with on a documentary.

Carnie said: “We started our working relationship in, ironically, a closet in the BBC.

“We were in a wee cupboard for a couple of weeks working on art projects.”

MacLeod’s idea for a documentary evolved into Kim Carnie Out Loud.

Filming started in 2021 and was completed last year. People from the US, Europe and other parts of the world appear in it.

It has already been screened at 18 international festivals and picked up 26 awards.

The UK premiere will be held at Glasgow’s GFT ahead of more screenings, including at Sae Change Festival in Tiree.

Carnie said there was a lot of joy in the film, but that some had faced huge challenges to their lives.

She said: “We spoke to a refugee who was tortured for his sexuality.

“I know my own story is a very privileged one in that here is a safe place to be gay because the law protects you.

“I have been at the other end of homophobia and had looks, but not from the people I choose to surround myself with.”