Following the breakdown of his 40-year marriage and the loss of a lifelong friend, Stuart Arfield did not know where to turn. The musician felt he had ‘lost himself’, and even quit his job.
The 68-year-old says: ‘I was very much a person who would think, ‘Depressed? Come on, there are worse things.’
He was prescribed antidepressants by his GP which, he says, had ‘little effect’. But later, at the doctor’s surgery, he saw a poster for counselling services with the charity Mind that made him take the first step towards therapy.
Stuart says the weekly talking therapy he had over six months ‘had a massive impact’.
‘Right from the off, I felt I was in the right place,’ he says. ‘At the first session I just felt it natural to start talking, and I found the process really powerful.
‘You start to self-reflect, and you walk away and think, ‘I am here now with my life’ and you start to see chinks of light. Before, it felt like my world was collapsing around me, but I am so much better now. It has completely changed my relationships with friends and family and I can live life again.’
Stuart is far from alone. A growing number of people in his age group are experiencing mental health challenges.
New data shows more than half of people aged over 65 have had mental health issues in the past five years but only a quarter have sought therapy or counselling.
Stuart Arfield, 68, turned to therapy after his marriage broke down and he lost a lifelong friend
The research, carried out for the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) by polling company YouGov, has been shared exclusively with The Mail on Sunday to provide an insight into the mental health challenges for over-65s.
The survey, which quizzed more than 5,000 adults, found that stress was the most common issue for the age group. One in five also said that they experienced depression and nearly a third said they suffered from anxiety.
Last month The Mail on Sunday columnist Dr Ellie Cannon detailed her experience with an elderly patient who had turned to psychotherapy. She recalled seeing the patient who had recently recovered from a stint in intensive care.
‘Not only did it alleviate the mental trauma of his illness, it helped him come to terms with the depression he’d been dealing with for decades,’ wrote Dr Ellie. ‘It made me wonder whether many GPs wrongly believe there is no point suggesting therapy for older people.’ In response we received dozens of heart-warming letters and emails from people who’d had ‘life-changing’ experiences with the treatment.
Andrew Stevens, 62, a retired mechanic from Birmingham, said: ‘I had always suffered from mild depression and anxiety but I had never taken the step because I was stubborn.’
After receiving treatment for bowel cancer, which is now in remission, he sought support from a counsellor. ‘It brought out all the feelings that I had about the treatment, it helped me understand how I could deal with the feelings,’ he said. ‘Having had therapy, now I really regret not taking it before.’
Professionals warn that among their clients, older people in particular wait until they reach crisis point before seeking help.
‘We often underestimate the period of change you go through at retirement,’ says Jackie Rogers, a therapist from Burton-on-Trent.
‘It is a big life transition where support networks change, and I often find that people no longer know who to talk to. However, retirement is also a time when the issues people have put on the back burner come to the fore. So going to therapy really helps to process that transition.
‘It is never too late to change, and sessions can be hugely beneficial to those later in life.’
So what is therapy – and how can you access it?
Therapy is a broad term usually used to describe talking therapy – a treatment for mental and emotional issues which involves discussing personal problems with a trained therapist.
It may be carried out one-to-one, in a group, online, over the phone, with family members or a partner. The aim is for the therapist to help patients understand and cope with their problems.
There are several forms of talking therapy, the most common and available on the NHS being cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). The aim of CBT is to help patients recognise unhelpful patterns of behaviour in their lives and move away from them. Studies show it is effective at treating depression, anxiety, phobias, some eating disorders as well as many other mental health conditions.
On the NHS, you can self-refer to talking therapies or seek a referral from your GP. More than 1.7 million people contacted the service last year. Average wait times are about six weeks for a first appointment, but nearly three months in some areas.
With the growing backlog of people waiting for treatment, research suggests many are turning to private therapists. The cost can vary depending on where you live, but is about £35 a session.
A traditional therapy scene from the 1944 film Lady In The Dark
When choosing a therapist, experts say it is important to check they are registered with a professional body, such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. This is because it is not a regulated industry, and anyone can describe themselves as a ‘therapist’. Another important factor is finding a therapist who matches your personality.
‘It is really important you find the right person,’ says Ms Rogers. ‘Often that’s about finding someone who is a good fit for you and can understand the challenges you are facing.
‘For example, I have more female clients than men because they feel that I can understand their experience.’
Another reader who says that therapy changed her life is Amanda Moss, 74, from Lancashire, who lives with the incurable condition chronic fatigue syndrome, or myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). The condition left her depressed, unable to leave the house and isolated from friends.
After giving up on the NHS waiting list, she chose a private therapist of a similar age.
‘When you are getting older it is hard to get support – you feel lost and isolated,’ she says. ‘It was powerful to feel accepted and listened to. Therapy gave me strength to cope with my ill health. It has helped me restore friendships and relationships with my family.’
