Sex myths are (almost) as old as sex itself.
Some are relatively innocent old-fashioned misconceptions – but others are harmful stereotypes that affect how society perceives certain people.
How many of these did you – or still do – believe in?
MYTH: MASTURBATION WILL SEND YOU BLIND, MAKE YOU IMPOTENT AND DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH
Your great-grandmother was convinced even a little DIY would send her sons blind.
The generations that followed weren’t any less paranoid: they worried masturbating would lead to all sorts of health issues from losing hair to becoming impotent.
Blame the Ancient Greeks and Romans for making athletes go without sex before a major event: they believed ejaculating beforehand would make you weak.
The latest sex conspiracy doing the rounds is that masturbating drains your energy, strength and focus.
‘No Nut November’ challenges men to refrain from ejaculating for the entire month of November. Why? The alleged health benefits include improved sperm quality, increased stamina, reduced stress, improved concentration and self-control and reduction of erectile dysfunction. Oh, and thicker hair!
Sexpert Tracey Cox (pictured) has discussed how it can feel when your ex-partner becomes the person you hoped they be – with a new partner
The truth: Masturbating has never sent anyone blind or made them impotent. There’s also no research to back up the claim it dilutes sporting prowess.
Every health claim made for ‘No Nuts November’ meets with a ‘no real scientific evidence’ result when researched.
Kinsey Institute researcher, Dr Justin Lehmiller, says there is no scientific evidence that giving up masturbation and ejaculation will enhance your health. If anything, there are more potential health benefits to be had by indulging in self-pleasure than by abstaining.
MYTH: MEN WHO VISIT SEX WORKERS ARE UGLY DIRTY OLD MEN
If you have to pay for sex, you must be undesirable, socially inept, extremely unattractive or a deviant. Right?
The stereotypical image of a seedy man in a trench coat, looking for a secretive, debauched encounter has been around for centuries – and refuses to disappear.
The truth: I can anecdotally tell you this simply isn’t true: I know a lot of men who have paid for sex and not one fits this description.
Studies also show that men who pay for sex come from all walks of life and age groups.
They range from young professionals on stag nights to married men in sexless relationships and all visit sex workers for a broad range of reasons.
Some are lonely and companionship and connection is the motivation.
Others do it to explore sex acts they don’t want to ask their partners to do for fear of being judged.
While we’re on the topic of prostitution, let’s tackle this myth as well…
Only 36 per cent of dates now involve the man asking the woman out, paying, and initiating sex, says a new study from the University of Kansas (file photo)
MYTH: ALL FEMALE SEX WORKERS ARE DRUG-ADDICTED AND FORCED INTO DOING IT
Most people believe any women who would choose to sell her body for sex must have a very bad reason for doing so. She’s struggling with addiction, comes from a troubled background and is forced to turn to sex work because there is no other way for her to make money.
The truth: Yes, some sex workers do come from difficult backgrounds, and some have substance abuse issues but this is far from the whole story.
If your definition of sex work is providing a sexual service for money, it’s broadened considerably over the last decade.
Lots of sex workers don’t ever have physical contact with clients or even met them in person. Not all sex work happens on a street corner, either.
Some women do it to fund their way through college or university through sites like Sugar Daddy (marketed as a dating site but used to hook up young women with wealthy older men who aren’t just taking them out for ice-cream) or OnlyFans, where women can provide ‘private videos’ for money.
Sex work can be lucrative and plenty of women like the autonomy it can provide.
Viewing all sex workers as damaged oversimplifies the complexity of their lives and adds to the stigma that surrounds sex work.
Lots of women in the industry choose to be sex workers and many come from stable, supportive backgrounds.
MYTH: YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT DURING YOUR PERIOD.
Yes, this old chestnut is still doing the rounds – despite plenty of ‘period babies’ running around who are living proof it’s not true. The assumption is that ovulation and menstruation are too far apart for conception to occur.
The truth: While the chances are lower, it’s still possible to conceive while on your period because sperm can live in the body for up to five days. If a woman ovulates shortly after her period, there’s a chance an egg could get fertilised.
This is why it’s not a reliable method of contraception.
MYTH: WATCHING PORN HARMS RELATIONSHIPS AND IS ADDICTIVE
There’s a widespread belief that porn is bad. It’s thought of as something that women hate, that destroys trust in relationships and turns men into sex addicts.
It was considered such a threat that reputable, thorough research was finally done into porn use by men. And guess what? While some men do struggle with compulsive use of porn, the majority who watch it do so without significant negative impacts on their relationship or well-being.
The truth: Most men watch porn as entertainment. It’s something fun to do, just as masturbating is something fun to do. Plenty of women also enjoy watching and couples who watch together report higher sexual satisfaction than those who don’t.
It’s not without problems – it’s true that watching too much porn can make sex with your partner seem uninteresting by comparison. (The variety of sex acts on offer on porn sites is mind-boggling.) But porn isn’t the problem. The problems come from men thinking porn is real life sex and mistaking it for sex education.
HOMOSEXUALITY CAN BE CURED
This is one of the most harmful and persistent myths of all: thinking that homosexuality is an illness or defect that can be ‘cured’ through ‘conversion therapy’.
Advocates of this conspiracy claim sexual orientation is a choice and that LGBTQ+ individuals can be ‘reprogrammed’ to be heterosexual through religious of psychological methods.
The truth: ‘No scientific basis’ is a term you will become mighty familiar with during this article. It absolutely applies here.
Most major psychological and psychiatric organisations have debunked conversion therapy as ineffective and extremely harmful (it can lead to depression, anxiety and self-harming).
Happily, it’s a theory clung onto by a minority. Diverse sexual orientation is widely accepted as a natural part of human behaviour, influenced by things like genetics, hormones and environmental factors. None of which are curable.
Check out Tracey’s product ranges – Supersex and Edge – on lovehoney. Give the gift of great sex this Christmas! You’ll find details on traceycox.com.
