A mum-of-two has told how postpartum psychosis made her think she was in a real life version of Squid Game.
Gemma Porter, 35, from Manchester, struggled with depression while pregnant with her baby, now nine months old, despite not having a history of mental illness.
After a ‘stressful’ four months of looking after her baby and his brother, four, Gemma began having delusions.
She started out believing she was Jesus — with the power to heal strangers’ pain.
Later, the beliefs turned into thinking she was being human trafficked, and taking part in a version of the Korean horror series, ‘Squid Game’.
Gemma Porter had no history of mental health problems until she became pregnant with her son, aged 34.
Ms Porter experienced a range of delusions including that she was Jesus, and that her life was an episode of the Korean thriller series, Squid Game.
The show revolves around hundreds of cash-strapped players taking part in a deadly survival game that has a whopping 45.6 billion-won prize at stake.
She was sectioned when her baby was four months old, and was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis.
Now, she’s in recovery, no longer having delusional thoughts and is ‘smashing life’.
She is taking antipsychotic medication, going to a number of support groups and doctors say she will make a full recovery within the year.
Gemma, a corporate solicitor, said: ‘Postpartum psychosis isn’t as rare as we think — and I want other mums going through this to know they’re not alone.
‘I was manic — I felt like I had superpowers. But I was really low in my mood.
‘My body was restless, and I felt elated, happy, scared and sad at the same time.
‘I also thought, when I was sectioned, that my baby would be taken away and sold to a rich family in China.’
Now, nine months later, she feels back to normal and is working and looking after her two children.
Gemma says her pregnancy was a difficult one, in which she ended up being prescribed sertraline to cope with depression.
When her baby was born on November 23, 2023, he suffered a lot from colic, and had a tongue tie a piece of skin tying his tongue to his bottom lip.
Even after having it surgically removed, he struggled to sleep — only dozing off when Gemma would drive him around the Manchester Moors.
‘He wasn’t an easy baby,’ Gemma added. ‘When he was born, he was jittery, colicky and tongue-tied.
‘He’d only settle down if I drove him around.’
At Christmas 2023, Gemma and her partner of 10 years split.
She says she took it ‘really hard’ — and threw herself into planning her son’s christening to cope.
‘I had a weekend in March where I told my family I’d be uncontactable,’ she said.
‘I was busy scheduling the christening.
‘It was stressful, and I wasn’t sleeping particularly well.’
The day before the christening, on March 16, 2024, Gemma began experiencing her first delusion while driving.
She said: ‘I remember seeing the sun in the clouds.
Squid Game is a Korean thriller that sees contestants fight for their life in a deadly competition
The series is called Squid Game because the shape of the playing field drawn on the ground resembles that of a squid.
‘It was really magnified, really bright.
‘I looked at it, feeling like I’d been put on this earth to help people.
‘I had a heightened sense of emotional intelligence, and intuition.’
Gemma even told her sister, 27, that she felt like ‘the resurrected Jesus’.
Her delusions became more intense over the next four days, and she also felt ‘irrationally’ scared of her parents.
 On March 20, 2024, Gemma’s sister booked her an emergency GP appointment, because she kept reiterating how ‘elated and sad’ she felt.
‘I told him I felt like I had superpowers,’ she added. ‘He told my sister to drive me straight to A&E.’
Gemma was sectioned her under section two of the Mental Health Act, which allows a person to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital for up to 28 days.
She waited in a private ‘mental health room’ until 1am on March 21, when staff at the mother and baby unit in Wythenshawe came to get her.
‘I felt like a criminal,’ Gemma said.
‘They dropped me off in my room and from that point, I was convinced I was being trafficked.
‘I thought the hospital was fake.’
Gemma’s delusions continued intensely for three days. She wouldn’t leave her room, and would only speak to doctors over a makeshift barricade, using a cabinet against the door.
She’d even ‘buy people’s allyship’ with chocolates, just in case she ‘needed it when traffickers came to get her.’
In the meantime, family members looked after the baby, and slowly, Gemma began to accept help.
She said: ‘On day three, I finally started taking the antipsychotic medication they were giving me.
‘I was too scared to even use the bathroom.
‘But on day 14, I finally took my first shower in the unit.’
Gemma appealed her section, saying she would stay voluntarily.
It was granted at the beginning of week three, and she stayed voluntarily for another three weeks.
From May onwards, Gemma recovered at home — and once the psychosis passed, she fell into a depression.
‘The support from my family helped me through it,’ she said. ‘I had one person with me, all the time.
‘I ate well, slept, and went out-and-about for walks.’ Now, Gemma is able to drive, work and look after her two children, again. She even feels like a more confident version of herself.
