Does your partner have just one or two friends and get overwhelmed in arguments? These could be telltale signs of ‘hidden’ autism, according to experts.
Thousands of Britons are believed to be living with the developmental disability -which triggers extreme feelings of overwhelm and difficulty socialising, among other problems.
However experts believe many adults with the condition may be unaware they have it as it was missed when they were children.
Now experts have revealed some of the relationship troubles that could potentially indicate a romantic partner is autistic.
Dr Mikki Lee Elembaby, a psychologist specialising in autism from Clarity Therapy in New York, said she had seen some common relationship traits in her patients.
One of these is struggling to answer ‘open-ended questions’ from their partner such as ‘how are you?’ and giving replies that can seem too direct, blunt and insensitive.
‘Challenges with understanding social norms and cues can lead to potential misunderstandings or misinterpretations.’ she told HuffPost UK.
Dr Elembaby said another key sign is feeling exhausted after social interactions, like a party or a get-together with friends.
Difficulty maintaining friendships, struggling with open-ended questions, and a ‘confusing’ relationship history could be signs you, or your partner, have ‘hidden’ autism, according to experts. Stock image
‘This exhaustion can also be partly due to masking behaviours, which refer to consciously or unconsciously mimicking neurotypical social behaviours to “fit in”,’ she said.
‘An example of masking is forcing eye contact during conversation despite feeling uncomfortable or rehearsing social scripts for common social situations.’
But this ‘masking’ can also lead to adults with autism missing unspoken social cues.
Examples include struggling to recognise how much eye contact is too much, or when to stop smiling during a conversation.
She added another sign of hidden autism in adults was a history of struggling to make or maintain social connections outside of a structured environment, such as school.
Another expert, Dr Megan Anna Neff, a clinical psychologist based in Oregon, added that a person’s relationship history could also be a potential sign of autism.
She explained that many undiagnosed adults have a complicated and confusing series of relationships in their past.
Dr Neff said this can also lead them to struggle to identify reasons why their past relationships failed.
This chart shows the percentage increase in incidence of autism diagnosis from 1998 to 2018. UK researchers found autism diagnoses had risen by an ‘exponential’ 787% over 20 years. They said the rise could be due to increased recognition of the condition among experts particularly in diagnosing autism among girls and adults, but added an increase in cases of autism itself cannot be ruled out
‘There might be relationships that have suddenly burst apart but the autistic person doesn’t understand why,’ she said.
She added that autistic people also tend to show a deep preference for direct communication and a disdain for small talk.
Autism exists on a spectrum meaning different patients can be affected to differing degrees.
Some will be able to lead fully functioning lives with little to no additional help. Others may need full-time assistance.
Autism diagnoses have exploded in the UK in recent years, for reasons experts say are unclear.
In 2021, experts found autism diagnoses in England had soared by an ‘exponential’ 787 per cent in 20 years.
At the time they suggested increased awareness of the condition and more regularly screening had driven the increase, but added they couldn’t rule out a rise in cases itself.
Some experts have suggested the condition could be overdiagnosed due to a ‘wild-west’ of autism assessments in England.
A study published last year reported that adults referred to some autism assessment facilities have an 85 per cent chance of being told they are on the spectrum.
Yet the figure was low as 35 per cent in other places, researchers at University College London found.
Other experts argue, however, that autism has been massively underdiagnosed in the past, particularly among girls.
This has then led to a backlog of patients getting diagnosed in later life as adults.
Experts have also said celebrities speaking about the condition such as American actress Daryl Hannah, 64, Welsh actor Sir Anthony Hopkins, 87, and even controversial rapper Kanye West, 47, could be leading more undiagnosed patients to seek help.
There are other theories, that increasing exposure to environmental factors in the womb such as pollution or pesticides or a rise in older parents in general is making autism more common.
Charities estimate that one in 100 people in the UK are autistic, roughly about 700,000 adults and children combined.
