Maria Shriver has laid bare the painful aftermath of her split from Arnold Schwarzenegger following his devastating revelation.
In 2011, Shriver’s then-husband Schwarzenegger admitted to fathering a child during their marriage with their former housekeeper Mildred Baena. Their son, Joseph Baena, was born in 1997 and is now 27, however Shriver was unaware he was her husband’s child until Schwarzenegger told her years later.
Shriver, 69, separated from Schwarzenegger, 77, after he admitted to the infidelity and child, but it took years for them to officially divorce.
Shriver is now releasing a book of poetry, I Am Maria, and an excerpt obtained by People reveals the scope of her pain and her efforts to repair her broken heart after the betrayal.
The journalist – who married Schwarzenegger in 1986 and welcomed children Katherine, Patrick, 31, Christina, 33, and Christopher, 27, with him – called the split a ‘brutal’ and ‘life-altering blow.’
It came not long after Shriver lost both her parents, with her mother Eunice Shriver passing in 2009 followed by the death of her father Sargent Shriver in 2011.
Maria Shriver has laid bare the painful aftermath of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s betrayal which led to the end of their marriage
Schwarzenegger had an affair with his then-housekeeper Mildred Baena, resulting in the birth of their child Joseph Baena; the pair pictured
Compounded with the grief of relinquishing her role as First Lady of California after her then-husband’s term ended, Shriver said the split ‘broke what was left of me.’
‘Then a year and a half later, all hell seemed to break loose. My First Lady job came to an end. My father died. And then came another devastating, life-altering blow: my twenty-five-year-long marriage blew up. It broke my heart, it broke my spirit, it broke what was left of me,’ she described.
‘Without my marriage, my parents, a job—the dam of my lifelong capital-D Denial just blew apart’ she explained,’ she added.
Shriver praised her children for the ‘grace, valor, and courage’ they demonstrated after their worlds were instantly ‘uprooted’ after the betrayal – which left her grappling with her identity.
‘I was consumed with grief and wracked with confusion, anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety. I was unsure now of who I was, where I belonged. Honestly, it was brutal, and I was terrified.
‘As I sat on my hotel room floor in the dark, alone with tears streaming down my face, I thought to myself: Maria, this doesn’t have to be the end of you.’
What followed was a journey in search of healing from therapists, shamans, and psychics, and a stay to a cloistered convent.
Schwarzenegger has forged a warm relationship with Joseph since the affair came to light
Shriver said she was grappling with relinquishing her role of First Lady Of California before Schwarzenegger’s admission
During their marriage, they welcomed four children together – Christopher, Katherine, Christina, and Patrick
‘I won’t bore and exhaust you with the details of my self-pity party. I’m also going to spare you a litany of all my trips to various therapists, healers, shamans, and psychics.’
While at the convent, she was comforted by a nun with wise words and a hug.
‘I even went across the country to a cloistered convent. At the end of my stay there, Mother Dolores took me aside, and in what once again felt like a scene right out of The Sound of Music, said to me, “Maria. I understand that you like it here very much. But if you’re thinking you can come live with us, let me tell you, you can’t. Our cut-off age is fifty, and you’re fifty-five!”
‘She said, “I think what you’re really looking for, my child, is permission to leave your marriage, to be Maria.” She hugged me, and then we both wept.’
Poetry became a part of Shriver’s healing tool kit, which helped her find the release she needed after a lifetime living up to high expectations and repressing emotion.
‘I started writing from a deep place within. Through my poetry, I’ve found a woman who was terrified of not being able to live up to her family’s legacy—scared of not being big enough, a good-enough daughter, sister, wife, mother, journalist.
‘I found a woman who had insisted on measuring herself by some impossible standard that guaranteed she’d come up short and feel bad about herself no matter what. I found someone who had spent a lifetime avoiding grief. And I also learned that when that lifetime of dissociated grief and trauma is released, it rushes out like a tsunami.’
Joseph and his mother at his graduation from Pepperdine University, which was also attended by Arnold
Shriver and Schwarzenegger tied the knot in 1986, nearly nine years after they first met; pictured 2006
Shriver and Schwarzenegger tied the knot in 1986, nearly nine years after they first met. They separated in 2011 and finalized their divorce in 2021.
Schwarzenegger recalled the moment he told Shriver about his 1996 infidelity and Joseph in his 2023 docuseries, Arnold.
During a marriage counseling session in 2011, the counsellor had stated at the time, ‘Today Maria wants to be very specific about something,’ he reveals. ‘She wants to know if you’re the father of Joseph.’
The former governor of California expressed, ‘I thought my heart stopped. And then I told the truth. “Yes, Maria. Joseph is my son.” She was obviously crushed by that.’
The star explained that at first, both himself and Mildred assumed the child was her husband Rogelio’s, and she continued to work for the Schwarzenegger family. ‘In the beginning I really didn’t know, but the older he got, the more it became clear to me.’
‘It was then just a matter of, “How do you keep this quiet?”‘ Arnold stated in a snippet from the documentary.
The actor first crossed paths with Maria, the niece of 35th President of the United States, John F. Kennedy, at a tennis match in August 1977. The two became engaged after Arnold popped the big question to Shriver in his home country of Austria in 1985.
The former couple tied the knot the following year in 1986 during a romantic ceremony at the Kennedy family home in Massachusetts, and expressed that it had been the ‘biggest wedding I’ve ever been to’ and gushed that he felt he was ‘the luckiest son of a b***h in life.’
The duo’s marriage finally ended in 2021; pictured circa 1986
Throughout the course of their 25-year marriage, the pair welcomed daughters Katherine, and Christina, as well as sons, Patrick and Christopher, who was born mere days before his other son, Joseph, was born.
Regarding the affair, Arnold admitted that it was his ‘biggest failure’ and stated, ‘I have caused enough pain for my family, because of my f**k-up. Everyone had to suffer. Maria had to suffer, the kids had to suffer, Joseph, his mother, everyone.’
The True Lies star revealed, ‘I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.’ Following the affair, Mildred left her husband and Schwarzenegger provided for both her and Joseph, purchasing them a home with a pool in California in 2010.
The housekeeper retired in 2011, the same year that Maria ended her relationship with Arnold, prompting their separation. She filed for divorce in July 2011, which wasn’t officially finalized until 10 years later in 2021.
‘People will remember my successes and they will also remember my failures. I’ve had failures in my career but this was a whole new dimension of failure. I am very happy within this sad story that Maria and I were able to raise the kids well,’ the former professional bodybuilder stated.
Schwarzenegger has forged a positive relationship with his son over the years, and the former bodybuilder enjoys working out with him and, along with Mildred, attended his graduation from Pepperdine University in 2019.