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Changing the culture of toxic positivity doesn’t mean abandoning hope or optimism; it means making room for the full spectrum of human experience.
Toxic positivity pressures people to hide their true feelings. (Pixabay)
From Instagram captions and school posters to workplace slogans and wellness campaigns, we’re surrounded by messages that promote happiness, strength, and gratitude. But beneath the glossy ‘stay strong’ mantras lies a complicated truth: not every emotion needs to be wrapped in positivity, and sometimes, pretending everything is fine causes more harm than good.
“Toxic positivity isn’t optimism,” says Abeer Kapur, Founder & CEO of the Trusted Inclusive Futures Network Foundation (TIFN). “It’s pressure – the pressure to smile when you’re hurting, to say you’re grateful when you’re overwhelmed, to be silent because your truth makes others uncomfortable,” he adds. This cultural expectation to always be upbeat often sidelines honesty, especially when people are navigating mental health struggles, burnout, or bias.
The Subtle Ways Toxic Positivity Shows Up
Toxic positivity isn’t always loud or obvious. Often, it hides in well-meaning phrases like “look on the bright side” or “others have it worse.” These dismissive reassurances can prevent people from expressing their reality and feeling heard.
“When we praise resilience without asking what someone had to survive, we erase their story,” Kapur explains. “In schools, students are told to bounce back but aren’t taught how to process sadness. At home, peace is often maintained through emotional silence. And in workplaces, mental health is reduced to motivational posters while the root causes of stress remain untouched.”
Why The Toxic Positivity Culture Is Isolating
For those already navigating exclusion due to race, gender, identity, or mental health, forced positivity deepens the isolation. It creates an environment where only sanitised, socially acceptable feelings are welcome. “When someone says, ‘I’m not okay,’ we rush to fix it rather than sit with it,” Kapur notes. “But real inclusion begins when we let people be human without conditions.”
What Real Change Looks Like
True emotional wellness doesn’t come from curated positivity but from allowing people to show up as they are, especially on hard days. It means building homes, classrooms, and workplaces where vulnerability is not just accepted, but valued.
“We don’t need more polished versions of each other,” Kapur says. “We need more honest ones. That’s where real trust begins.”
Real inclusion and emotional safety begin when people feel they can show up with their whole selves, even when that self is tired, overwhelmed, or hurting.
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Delhi, India, India
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