Performing Last Rites For Someone? Follow These 10 Rules

Last Updated:May 01, 2025, 14:55 IST

Sanatan Dharma outlines specific rites for death, with mourning customs for family members that emphasise celibacy, simplicity, and strict dietary restraint

Hinduism offers a comprehensive guide to life, from birth through to death, encompassing every stage with prescribed rites and associated rules. Upon the death of a family member, there are specific customs and guidelines that both the individual performing the last rites and close relatives are traditionally expected to follow.

Ritual Observances For Family Members

In the mourning period, family members are expected to maintain spiritual discipline and simplicity. The following rules are commonly observed:

1. Celibacy must be strictly maintained by all family members.
2. Each person should sleep separately, avoiding shared bedding.
3. Non-vegetarian food, alcohol, and other tamasic (impure or heavy) foods must be avoided.
4. Daily bathing and offering water (tarpan) to the departed soul are essential.
5. Cutting of hair, nails, and molars is not permitted; nor is oiling hair, washing hair, or massaging the body.
6. Soaps and detergents should not be used for bathing or laundry.
7. Meals should be shared collectively on the first, third, seventh, and tenth days after the passing, as part of traditional mourning.
8. Worship, self-study, recitation, visiting temples, and touching deities or idols are to be avoided during the mourning period.
9. Bowing to others or offering blessings is discouraged.
10. If deities such as Laddu Gopal are installed in the home, a Brahmin or someone outside the immediate family should perform any required worship.
11. Food should not be accepted from others, nor should food be offered to anyone outside the family.

Duties Of The Individual Performing The Final Rites

The person responsible for performing the last rites (karta) has specific responsibilities that help uphold the sanctity of the ritual:

1. On the first day, food should be sourced externally, typically from one’s maternal grandparents’ or in-laws’ household.
2. Sleep on the floor, without a mattress or cushion.
3. Maintain celibacy throughout the mourning period.
4. Avoid touching others’ feet and do not allow others to touch your feet.
5. Consume only one meal per day, before sunset.
6. Eat salt-free food as a mark of austerity.
7. Use leaf plates or earthenware for meals, avoiding metal utensils.
8. Fast on the first day or for up to three days, consuming only fruits if necessary.
9. Before eating, offer food to a cow and place a portion outdoors as an offering for the departed soul.
10. Refrain from all forms of luxury or indulgence, embracing humility and simplicity throughout the period of mourning.

These practices reflect the emphasis in Sanatan Dharma on purity, restraint, and respect for the soul’s onward journey. While customs may vary across regions and communities, the core principles of detachment and reverence remain central.

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