For many women, it is a sad fact of life they’re told to expect: sex stops at 60.
While the female libido does not vanish overnight, doctors find the desire for sex falls significantly as women go through perimenopause because of vaginal dryness.
After a few uncomfortable efforts, it no longer feels worth it.
It can be soul-crushing. And yes, it can also feel terribly unfair, especially since men’s sexual lifespan can be easily extended with cheap prescription pills.
Even if women use lubricant, it ‘rubs off within five minutes’ leaving them begging their partner to stop, says menopause expert Dr Ginni Mansberg.
Dr Mansberg, who has helped many perimenopausal women recover their sex lives at her Sydney clinic and with her bestselling book The M Word, said vaginal dryness is responsible for unfair stereotypes about older women.
‘There are so many jokes about “mum not wanting to have sex”. But it’s just the pain, not the lack of desire,’ Dr Mansberg, 56, told FEMAIL.
She explained that by the age of 65, 80 per cent of women experience extreme vaginal dryness which leads to discomfort during sex.
Dr Mansberg, who has helped many perimenopausal women recover their sex lives, says vaginal dryness is responsible for unfair stereotypes about older women
It can be soul-crushing. And yes, it can also feel terribly unfair, especially since men’s sexual lifespan can be easily extended with cheap prescription pills
‘It isn’t just during sex, it can be uncomfortable all of the time. Even underwear can cause discomfort, itching or pain,’ she said.
But there is a long-term solution that can make women feel more comfortable in just two weeks: using an estrogen-based cream.
In her own experience, Dr Mansberg has had patients see results within a week, and most see significant improvements over three months.
‘People need to be having these conversations. It is normal and very treatable,’ said Dr Mansberg, adding that many women who use the cream often say afterwards they wish they’d tried it sooner.
‘It has to be applied every day for two weeks and then twice a week after that,’ she said.
Vaginal dryness isn’t just a symptom of perimenopause; it can affect women as young as their mid-thirties.
‘It makes a lot of women stop having sex altogether. And leaves them feeling devastated,’ she said.
‘Left untreated, it is the absolute worst. When treated, it is no big deal,’ she said.
Revealed: The amount of sex you should be having according to your age group (so how does YOUR love life measure up?)
Whether the fire of passion is well and truly burning in your relationship, or you only just manage intimacy, you’ve probably found yourself wondering if the regularity of your sex life is ‘normal’.
Now you can find out, thanks to a study from The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.
Researchers found you can tell how your sex life measures up to others, according to your age, which is one of the main predictors for how often you get intimate with your partner.
It will probably be no surprise that younger people are having the most action with those aged 18 to 29 having sex an average of 112 times a year, or twice weekly.
A study conducted by The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that age is a key predictor of how often you’re likely to be having sex (stock photo)
Between the ages of 30 and 39, it drops to 86 times annually or 1.6 times a week.
And sexual activity tails off even further for 40 to 49-year-olds have half the amount of sex of their 20-something counterparts, making love 69 times a year.
‘The basic storyline that has emerged from these studies is that, as we get older, our odds of developing chronic health conditions increases and this, in turn, negatively impacts the frequency and quality of sexual activity,’ Dr. Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute explained.
Surprisingly, the study did not go beyond those in their 50s and beyond, which appears to back up separate research which found that sexuality among older people is largely ignored.
Researchers from the University of Manchester analysed written comment from more than a thousand adults aged 50 to 90 to highlighted the obstacles some older couples face in maintaining and fulfilling their sexual lives.
Many were reporting signs of anxiety as doctors refused to address their drop in sexual desire or physical difficulties, they found.
Men were discovered to be more likely to discuss the impact of health conditions on their sexual activities.
Researchers found that, unsurprisingly, 18 to 19-year-olds are most active between the sheets, having sex twice a week on average (stock photo posed by models)
Heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes are all causes of impotence among men.
But women had a higher chance of discussing health-related sexual difficulties in the context of a relationship.
Experts recommend practitioners should positively engage with issues of sexual function – regardless of age.
They believe proactively talking about their issues will help to improve both health and well-being in older patients.
