Single or not, you have probably heard of Raya – the celebrity dating app that is notoriously difficult to gain access to.
The exclusive, membership-based platform was launched in 2015 as a dating app for people from creative industries but has since turned into what one New York Times journalist described as ‘Illuminati Tinder’.
In the nearly 10-years since Daniel Gendelman created this secret society of ultra-desirable singletons, it has attracted A-list Hollywood stars, Grammy-winners, Olympic athletes, and influencers with millions of followers to boot.
Some of the most famous, rumoured Raya users include Gladiators star Paul Mescal, Magic Mike actor Channging Tatum, Oscar-winner Ben Affleck, and supermodel Cara Delevigne.
Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles reportedly met her husband, NFL star Jonathan Owens, on the app – much like Lily Allen, who swiped right on Stranger Things star David Harbour.
The reason celebrities flocked to Raya as soon as the ‘Soho House’ of dating apps opened its doors has to do with founder Daniel Gendelman’s almost-militant rules for entry that relegated hundreds of thousands of hopefuls to a never-ending waitlist.
But have those rules been somewhat relaxed? And, more importantly, does Raya live up to the celeb-induced hype once you’ve scaled its impossibly high walls?
Here, FEMAIL reveals how to break into this elitist dating sphere – and whether it’s actually worth its monthly £7.99 fee.
In a video posted last year, TikTok star Saskia Marriott claimed she matched with Lewis Capaldi, Game of Thrones star Iwan Rheon, Love Island star Dr Alex George, and a ‘really famous F1 driver’.
A grab from Saskia’s viral TikTok about the celebrities she encountered on TikTok
Oscar-winner Charlize Theron has reportledy signed up to celebrity dating app Raya after splitting from model boyfriend Alex Dimitrijevic
Reddit and TikTok are littered with stories of regular people – boasting neither social media clout nor worldwide fame – who have successfully infiltrated Raya to find themselves within dating distance of stars like Channing Tatum, Lizzo, Drew Barrymore, Shawn Mendes, Charlize Theron, and Chace Crawford.
And while posting about their exploits may have gotten them banned from Raya, how did they find themselves seated at Gendelman’s private dinner party in the first place?
The one-stop-shop for information about everything under the sun, Reddit does not disappoint when it comes to Raya’s membership rules.
More specifically, how to get around them – with subreddits exclusively dedicated to buying referrals and tips to make your application stand out.
Considering the lore surrounding Raya, the platform’s application form is surprisingly straightforward.
Once you’ve indicated your interest in joining the app, you are required to fill in a few basic details such as your date of birth, current location, occupation, and the company you work for – as well as your Instagram handle.
While there are no explicit terms and conditions for membership outlined on the Raya website – although an Oscar nomination certainly helps – each application is reportedly reviewed by a global, diverse team allegedly comprising 500 people.
However, considering only eight per cent of all Raya applications are successful, there is more to the form than meets the eye – with experts suggesting two crucial factors that it is judged on.
A representative for Ben Affleck confirmed he had not been active on Raya ‘for several years’ after the Batman star rekindled his romance with Jennifer Lopez. Selling Sunset star Emma Hernan (not pictured) previously claimed he matched with her in 2019
Supermodel Cara Delevigne is among the A-listers rumoured to be on Raya
Since the application asks for your social media accounts, chances are that the number of followers you have is directly proportionate to your Raya eligibility – with The Sun estimating 5,000 followers as the minimum number required for membership.
Having a blue tick on Instagram or X can also boost your chances but you may be able to get away with not being an influencer if you have a ‘particularly creative job or unique life experience’, sex expert and sociologist Sarah Melancon told American outlet Popsugar.
Writing on the Raya Referral subreddit, one member advised keeping your Instagram profile public, while ensuring your feed ‘genuinely represents you’ and ‘avoiding ostentatious or deceitful displays of wealth’.
Another member suggested that your Instagram profile should ‘reflect who YOU really are’ in a post on the Dating subreddit.
The second, more important factor that your Raya application is judged on is simply how many existing users are willing to vouch for you.
‘It’s generally advised to secure a few quality referrals when applying,’ one Reddit user said, ‘as this can significantly improve your chances of success.’
Another person added: ‘Secure as many referrals as possible in the early application process. I found success with referrals from Reddit and connections made at Soho House, where I am a member.’
While you can try and ask existing Raya users for referrals on platforms like Reddit – with some even forking out money for these coveted invites – make sure you double-check you are not getting scammed.
Reddit users are selling Raya referrals on the app – with members cautioning hopefuls against getting scammed
The best way to guarantee your referral is coming from a Raya member, according to one Redditor, is checking whether their name shows up under ‘some friends who are members’ on the app.
‘You simply add [their phone number] to your contacts and, after several minutes, it will show up,’ they added. ‘I don’t care what else they show you or tell you.
‘If it doesn’t show – [their referral] is fake. Don’t pay,’ they cautioned.
There are outliers though.
One Mashable writer claimed their application was accepted despite having a ‘locked’ Instagram account ‘with a humble following of about 150’ and ‘no big-shot referrals in sight’.
They continued: ‘And it only took me 10 days to get the coveted acceptance email – which surprised me, considering some say they’ve been on the waitlist for years.’
If your application has been unsuccessful, Raya will not send you an official rejection email; you will simply be placed on the app’s allegedly 100,000-person waitlist ad infinitum – like the Playboy veteran Kendra Wilkinson who recently revealed she’s been on hold for four years.
What happens inside Raya?
If you are lucky enough to have your Raya application accepted, you must pay a monthly membership fee of £7.99 before you can start swiping.
Considering apps like Hinge and Bumble have started charging users for add-on features that do not include celebrity sightings, the subscription is not extortionate.
Drew Barrymore once revealed that she ‘got stood up by a guy who owned a restaurant’ after meeting him on Raya
Inside, it is reportedly a whole new world if the only apps you are currently using are Bumble or Hinge that filter prospective matches by location.
Instead, you can interact with Raya users around the world – even though that means you do not actually end up going on as many in-person dates.
Another key difference is that Raya users are not bombarded with hundreds of thousands of suitors and can can only access around 25 profiles at one time, according to Grazia.
One member told the magazine: ‘I didn’t really engage with it after a while. Mainly because most of the people I came across were in different countries. It’s bad enough wasting an evening on a bad date, without having to travel to Miami for it.’
Unlike traditional dating apps that do not offer any safeguards against potential matches taking screenshots of your cheesy pickup lines, Raya has a zero-tolerance policy for this.
If users take a screenshot, they are sent a warning. A second offense can then see them booted from the app altogether.
Members who talk, tweet, or TikTok about their famous matches risk being removed from the platform and, considering all profiles are linked to Instagram accounts, you are unlikely to be catfished on Raya.
However, the overwhelming feedback from people who have breached the digital boundaries of Raya – and been brave enough to post their experiences online – has been that it is a bit of a letdown.
And that is allegedly because not enough celebrities are still using Raya – a natural disappointment considering Raya’s reputation as a ‘celebrity dating app’.
TikTok influencer Audrey Peters, who boasts on one million followers, announced that ‘celebrity-socialites don’t use this anymore because they used it in 2015 when it came out’ in a video posted in 2022.
Take, for instance, one of the most famous Raya users, Batman star Ben Affleck – who in 2022 clarified he has not been ‘an active member’ for several years.
Or Drew Barrymore, who described her time on the app as a ‘train wreck’ after she admitted she’got stood up by a guy who owned a restaurant’.
Demi Lovato, who met one of her exes on the app, told Harper’s Bazaar that she was rejected by Raya when she tried to get back on it after the breakup.
Ultimately, Lovato decided ‘I don’t need to be on this because I think I’m supposed to be alone right now’; she has since found love with Jordan ‘Jutes’ Lutes after meeting the Canadian musician after they met during a songwriting session offline.
American rapper and Grammy winner Lil Nas X is also among the stars shunning Raya.
The Old Town Road hitmaker told James Corden ‘I’ve stopped using Raya…and just started meeting people in real life’ during an episode of Carpool Karaoke last year.
Raya, the celebrity dating app likened to Soho House and the Illuminati, was launched in 2015
In a video posted last year, TikTok star Saskia Marriott claimed she matched with Lewis Capaldi ‘a long time ago…but we never had a conversation’ before sharing some of her other famous matches – including Game of Thrones star Iwan Rheon, Love Island star Dr Alex George, and a ‘really famous F1 driver’.
In 2015 – the year that Raya was launched – a journalist from The Cut went undercover on the app and reported seeing ‘pro skateboarders and Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, Dancing With The stars professional dancers, a YouTube beauty guru, the designers of streetwear brand popularised by Kanye Weast, a teen celebrity chef, and Moby.’
Nearly a decade later, a Grazia writer claimed ‘I have only spotted one very famous comedian’ after two months on the app – comparing it to ‘going on a safari and only seeing one zebra’.
As the hype around Raya evaporates, one wonders whether TikTok had some part demystifying the ‘elite members-only dating app’.
In recent years, TikTok users have begun outing their A-list matches by publicly posting their cringe-worthy private messages for millions of people to view – proving Raya’s stringent, Fight Club-esque rules are no longer a deterrent.
Content creators like Riley (@rileyfauria) who ‘outed’ the famous men who ‘rejected’ her on Raya – allegedly including comedian Chris Rock, Diplo, Brody Jenner, Ethan Cutkosky, and Drew Starkey.
She captioned her viral post: ‘I could make like 100 videos about Raya. I clearly have beef with that app.’
In a follow-up TikTok, Riley revealed even more celebrities who had swiped left on her, naming The Office star BJ Novak and comedian Trevor Noah.
She later told The Independent that some of these celebrities had slid into her DMs ‘saying they saw my TikTok and thought it was funny’.
Riley added: ‘They said they didn’t see my profile and if they did they would have been inclined to swipe yes!’
Still, membership on Raya remains a highly sought-after ‘asset’ – as proven by scored of subreddits where users are selling Raya referrals for almost 10 times the price of its monthly membership.
Although one current user told the Daily Mail this may well be due to the fact that joining the app has become something of a badge of honour among elitist circles.
‘Honestly, the people on the app don’t really appeal to me that much,’ the unnamed person said. ‘It’s a lot of guys boasting about how great they are, and oftentimes I’ll get matched with someone who is thousands of miles away from me, which seems a bit useless.
‘But it’s still something fun to talk about (privately!), and it makes me feel as though I’m a little bit special, even if that isn’t true at all.’
