Virginia Cavaliers release week zero injury report featuring a shocking number of hurt players

College football is finally here, so take a deep breath and give yourself a pat on the back; we made it!

This Saturday marks the beginning of the season with week 0, featuring a sneaky good slate of games that is sure to whet the appetite of college football fanatics across the country.

One of those games is the match-up between the Virginia Cavaliers and NC State Wolfpack, two ACC programs looking to get an early leg up on their intra conference competition.

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It’s rare to see a game between two teams from the same conference this early in the season, and the added weight of Virginia and NC State jockeying for position in the ACC will make this one a “must-watch.”

With this being a conference game and all, both teams released their respective injury reports per ACC rules, and just glancing at the graphic is enough to make any Cavaliers fan wince.

With that many names in the “out” or “questionable” categories, I think it would have been more prudent at this point to highlight who is actually playing for Virginia.

What exactly did the Cavaliers do all offseason, run Fight Club on the practice field every day?

Virginia Cavaliers running back Mike Hollins (7) rushes up field while attempting to elude North Carolina Tar Heels linebacker Power Echols (23) during a college football game between the North Carolina Tar Heels and the Virginia Cavaliers on November 05, 2022, at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA. (Lee Coleman/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

It’s week zero, you haven’t even played anybody other than yourselves. Virginia has an injury report that makes me think they had their players running Oklahoma drills armed with baseball bats and no pads on.

Fans had some hilarious theories about why the Cavaliers are so injured, from a plague running rampant throughout campus to the “substation conspiracy theory.”

Their side of the injury report is so loaded that it even distracts from the fact that NC State still has over half a dozen players out as well.

They might as well rename this game the Triage Bowl.

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Virginia Cavaliers helmet with logo resting on the sidelines during a college football game between the North Carolina Tar Heels and the Virginia Cavaliers on November 05, 2022, at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, VA. (Lee Coleman/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

I hope the training staff gets a fat holiday bonus this year, because they are going to have their work cut out for them in Charlottesville if this injury report is any indicator of how the season is going to play out.

Anyway, it’s just nice to see that college football is back in our lives.

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Well, unless you’re a UVA fan, in which case you might want to contact a witch doctor about how you can reverse some of these ailments.